The Poo Poo Chart (Yes- It's real)

A few years ago, while I was at my first gastroenterology appointment, I was introduced to the Bristol Stool Chart, or what others would call the shit chart. The large colorful poster was displayed on the exam room wall and I was asked to rate my poo, yes that is what I said, rate my poo. The Bristol Stool chart consists of seven different types of shit:
1. Hard, lumpy nuts (hard to pass)
2. Sausage shaped,with lumps
3. Like a Sausage but with cracks on the surface
4. Like a Sausage or snake, smooth and soft
5. Soft blobs with clear-cut edges
6. Fluffy pieces, or mushy shit
7. Watery with no solid pieces
So once I told the doctor that my shit was a cross between a 6 and 7, I was at a loss for words, which almost never happens to me. I had just paid a $60.00 co-pay to share my shit shape with a person. This has never been, until now a topic of conversation. But after careful observation of Bristol Stool chart graphs, I can no longer eat Sausage, nuts or cotton candy without thinking of the shit chart and I always think of shit when I see a snake or a big fluffy cloud. "Hey see that fluffy cloud up there, it's not a cirrus cloud, it's a Bristol shit #6." So now go home tonight and see what yours looks like. This is the stuff they don't teach you in school, and I'm sure you're glad you now know.