Christina Ruotolo

Monday, July 26, 2010

Conversations With Myself

Some people talk to their plants because they believe that if they do, their plants with grow stronger and taller. Some people talk to their animals, because they consider them like a child. Some people have multiple personalities and talk to themselves. When I was little, I was terrified of thunder and lightning storms. I used to take my brown bear, Teddy, hide myself away in the closet and talk to myself, hum or sing loudly until it went away and I was safe again. So I guess I still do this, but instead of thunderstorms, I am terrified of IBS and Fibromyalgia.

I admit that I too talk to my dog all the time and I even find myself talking to the picture of my dead cat, Sopopdopolis. I also have conversations with myself, but not the multiple personality kind. I talk to my body. I ask it to behave before an interview, or I ask it to settle down and be nice so I can enjoy a nice meal out with friends. I talk to my muscles and tell them to behave as well. When my back is hurting so bad that the thought of sitting hurts, I talk to my back, reason with it, plead with it and promise that tomorrow or next week, I'll have a deep tissue massage and it can thank me then.

Sometimes I plead with my stomach when I have cramps asking it to calm down. When I am sitting in the car about to leave for a trip however small or long it will be, I tell me stomach that if it can just behave and not act up until we get to where we are going that I will reward it with a cookie or a stick of gum. I know this sounds weird, but you know you talk to yourself to, you may not be able to admit it to yourself. I bet you're even talking out loud right now telling yourself that you do not in fact talk to yourself. (kinda scary huh?)

I know you must be thinking that this is all strange. I know that talking to my body will not make it grow stronger, taller or last longer, it's just my way of getting though living day-to-day with IBS and Fibromyalgia. I guess you can say that I am talking to myself to get through the inner thunderstorms and that a calm voice makes it go away faster. I just grab another Imodium, swallow it down and continue conversations with myself. Maybe tomorrow I'll try singing.

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